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Category Archives: Heartbreak

It has been awhile since my last post. Sometimes I think I should become more disciplined with my blog. But most of the time, I think I should just relax and flow:

The weather is warm here in South Florida. All the windows are open. I am thankful for the breeze. I have been teaching a lot of yoga, both private and group classes, and more than ever, I have been giving Reiki treatments.. sometimes a few times a day.

The yoga and chakra therapy series I am teaching is really amazing..   Every week we focus on a different chakra, and every week we are processing, healing, and growing. Through Asana (poses), Pranayama (breath work), mantra (chants), and guided visualization, we are on a chakra journey. We are all learning so much.Sometimes there are tears, sometimes there is laughter. During the week we worked with the Sacral chakra, one person in the group discovered a new and unexpected pregnancy, and one  in our group began menstruating again after menopause.  Energy work… ;)

This week we have been studying, healing, and strengthening  the heart chakra, the Anahata Chakra. For me, it has brought up events, issues,and memories that I haven’t consciously thought about in years. I know I am working through some deep wounds and healing my heart.


Healing through love in South Beach...

Healing through love in South Beach…

And as for healing my heart, my Portuguese sweetheart has been here visiting for nearly a month now (I lived in the Azores for 6 months). Our time together has been beautiful. Dancing, swimming, painting my house, exploring, theatre, yoga, friends, family, and good food. We speak Portuglish. Our own combination of Portuguese and English. We understand each other…. but when we don’t, we  laugh, play a bit of charades, and slowly figure it out….. ahahahaha, the language of love.

Love in all forms is the most powerful healer. 

To our Chakras and our healing~Yogini Tiff


I have a group of yoga students who have been studying and practicing with me for a few years now. We are all friends, and before class starts, we all laugh and ‘bitch’ a little, we help each other process stuff, we keep it real. Then class starts, we quiet our worries and thoughts, and focus on the breath. Then we begin to flow, linking the body and the breath in movement.

Anyways, after several years practicing together, everyone is able to do their asanas, listen to their bodies, honor their bodies, and comfortably meditiate.  Everyone is becoming more sensitive. Last week, I felt intense amounts of energy,while teaching.  I opened my eyes during our final seated meditation, looked at my students (friends) and I saw that everyone was really in a deep meditation. Blissed out, connected, and healing. After class ended, nobody moved. For about 20 minutes after class, no one spoke, no one moved. I  decided then and there that it was time, to week by week, teach in depth, about the chakras. So starting today, with this particular class, I am going to add a new element to our practice -Yoga and Chakra Therapy..

My Lake Worth Yoga crew....I Love you!! (I am the one standing under the orb)

My Lake Worth Yoga crew….I Love you!! (I am the one standing under the orb)

Focusing on the Chakras while practicing yoga helps activate, cleanse, and heal the Chakras and it helps encourage the energy to flow , upwards and towards the crown of the head. This is often referred to as awakening the Kundalini. Kundalini is often described as a coiled energy that lies dormant at the root chakra, and as people ‘awaken’ the energy activates and starts to move.. I have experienced major surges of energy and felt the power. It is intense. When you are able to truly feel the energy, there is no turning back, it is undeniable, it is life changing.  It  opens the door to a new path. A path of healing, connection, wisdom, and magic.

Chakra is a Sanskrit word that means spinning wheel or vortex.  There are seven major chakras in the human body and over 72,000 nadis, smaller energy centers. The study of chakras and the human energy system is over 5,000 year old and various religions, ethnicities, and cultures in the past and present share the core belief of chakras.

Chakras are usually invisible to the human eye but practicing yoga and other healing arts and sciences helps bring the bring the practitioner into awareness of the subtle (or not so subtle) energies of the chakras, the nadis and the entire energetic system.

The seven major chakras in the human body run parallel from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. Chakras are centers of prana (life force energy).

The chakras basically act as pumps or valves and they regulate the flow of energy.  Each chakra resonates with a certain color, sound, or frequency.  Tuning into the chakras helps bring us closer our true nature.Each chakra gives off one of the seven colors of the rainbow.  When all the chakras are open and balanced the person is vibrant, healthy, and all of the colors of the rainbow surround the persons body, which is known as  the person’s aura.

There are specific issues, emotions, and energies  that correspond with each chakra :

The Root Chakra, the Muladhara represents survival, relationship security, and inner safety. The element is earth.

A little farther up and orange in color is the Sacral or Svadhisthana Chakra.  This Chakra represents water and the emotional connections are blame and guilt,money and sex, power and control and relationships.

The next chakra,the solar plexus, or Manipura represents the element of fire. The color is yellow and it said to be the core of our will power.   The emotional connections are will power, self-esteem , sensitivity to criticism and care for oneself and for others.

The fourth Chakra, the heart Chakra, also known as Anahata is a vibrant green Chakra located at the heart center.  The element is air and the emotions associated with this Chakra are, love and compassion, forgiveness and acceptance,but also hatred, loneliness, grief and anger. These emotions are all connected to the functioning of the heart Chakra.

The fifth Chakra is the Vissuddha, the throat Chakra.  The element is ether or space and the emotions are personal expression, judgment, criticism, addiction.The key function of this Chakra is communication.

The sixth Chakra is commonly known as the third eye Chakra. The color is purple, or indigo and it is located near the center of the forehead.  The Chakra is associated with truth and intuition.  It is said that psychic abilities center around the third eye.  The element is light.

The seventh Chakra the crown Chakra is located at the top of the head and is commonly thought to be white, violet, or gold in color.  The element for this Chakra is ‘not of this world’ and awakening this Chakra is believed to lead one towards enlightenment.

If one finds they have unbalanced energy they can set their intention for their yoga practice to be on healing and balancing the chakras.

Practicing breathing exercises encourages the energy to balance. Finding time for self-care can have enormous healing effects on an unbalanced Chakra system.  Sometimes people have excessive Chakra energy  usually one or two Chakras.  This can be seen in people with addiction to sex, drugs, alcohol, relationships, food, etc. or it can be seen on someone with a large ego or a “I am better than you” type of personality.

Sometimes a person is so ‘closed off’ that they are deficient in Chakra energy. This sometimes happens after a traumatic events, broken hearts, or health issues.   Use of color therapy along with chanting, yoga and meditation will help balance the Chakras.

I have found that Gemstones that correspond to specific Chakras are very useful as well.

The goal is a strong clear and balanced energy system.  Consciously and unconsciously yoga works to purify, re-balance and awaken the Chakras, individually and also as a whole. Through the practice of yoga we can awaken and cleanse the Chakras and heal our spirits. Once the Chakras are functioning in a healthy manner we are able to safely raise the Kundalini energy up the spine to the crown of the head.  What a ‘trip.;)

I know this post is a very basic introduction, but I hope you found it helpful..if you have any questions, or wish to add something.. please contact me..

Growing and Healing...

Growing and Healing…retreat with my teacher

To our healing, and with love.  ~T


As a single mom, everything is my responsibility. There have been times when I have felt so worn down and crippled by exhaustion, that the tears start falling and keep falling for hours.   I know I have narrowly avoided several potential nervous breakdowns. (Yoga and meditation help, and so do big hugs, and dance parties.) But the truth is, being a single mom is hard. And any single mom deserves respect and needs support.

Anyways, I could write, and write, and write about all the hardships I have dealt with as a single mom. My son’s dad, has not helped at all. There is no anger about this. Just sadness.. And acceptance.  In the past 5 years, I have received a grand total of  58 dollars in child support. There have been some real struggles. There have been some deep wounds. But this is life.  Life presents all of us with both challenges and blessings..

And in terms of blessings, without a doubt, my son has been the biggest blessing in my life. 

For the last 13 years, my life has been a constant adventure with my kid. I was pretty young when I had him, so in many ways, we have grown up together (and we continue to grow). Luckily, my son has the adventurous adaptable gypsy spirit (just like me).  So, we have had a lot of fun. We have lived all over the place. And experienced so much.  I am amazed at all we have done together.

Camping with my kid

Camping with my kid

24005025747803l beautiful blue mar

My son really is magical. And I am not just saying this because I am his mom.  If you know my son, you know what I say is true. He is mature, loving, thoughtful, intelligent, and handsome. Even when he was very young, you could see and feel wisdom radiating from his big brown eyes. Often, I think he teaches me more than I teach him. And in terms of maturity, without a doubt, he is far more mature than I am. ;) My Buddhist teacher  told me “Marlin is not a normal child, he is a very special being.” I know what my teacher says is true.  My kid has special gifts (aka-magic).  

Marlin in the Azores..

Marlin in the Azores..

It is certainly his heart and warm caring behavior that are most important to me, but he is also one of the most talented artists I have ever known. He is a self-taught visual artist, and although born left-handed (like his dad), he has developed the  ability to draw equally well with both his left and right hands.

Marlin's art.. watercolors

Marlin’s art.. watercolors

Panda (Watercolors)

Panda (Watercolors)

Tiger (colored pencils)

Tiger (colored pencils)

He is also a talented performer.And an amazing singer. Marlin caught the ‘acting bug’ at a young age and has already been in 15 plays. In fact, right now he is rehearsing  for a solo he will sing on Saturday Feb 9th, for a fancy Gala honoring the famous Burt Reynolds.I am so proud of him.

Marlin as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of OZ

Marlin as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of OZ at the Lake Worth Playhouse

Marlin singing a Solo, as 'Star to Be' in Annie, at the Lake Worth Playhouse

Marlin singing, in Annie, at the Lake Worth Playhouse

Like I said, our life has been an adventure. Sometimes good, sometimes difficult..Never normal, but always with love.

Cheers to the amazing Marlin. And a big warm “Thank you” to everyone who has helped along our journey. I am truly grateful.

Cheers to Adventures with magic kids...

Cheers to Adventures with a magical kid…

Have a great day.. ~Yogini Tiff


Following a bizarre dream, my son and I and spent 6 months on the most beautiful island in the world, Santa Maria, Azores. Our time there was magical. And Strange.  I met new friends, new family, new love. I was surrounded by  nature, mountains, forests, and the ocean.. my kind of paradise. Leaving was very painful. I cried many tears.

Garden and the beauty of San Lorenzo Bay

My Island Paradise


When our plane descended into Fort Lauderdale, I looked out the window, my stomach was in knots. South Florida is so overdeveloped.. and flat.

West Palm Beach..

West Palm Beach..

We were greeted and “bear hugged” by our close friends, and while I was genuinely happy to see my friends, I struggled to speak. I struggled to smile. My mind kept asking me “What are you doing here?!?”

Culture shock.

I was in a daze for several days. Exhausted, heartbroken, confused. My body was very tense. I kept waking up at 3am. My heart longed to go back to Santa Maria. All I wanted was to sit at the Cais (the Port), laugh with my cousin, hug my sweetheart, eat Sao Jorge cheese and Portuguese bread (with piri piri), and of course drink wine. Vinho Abafado being my favorite.

The Port on the island of Santa Maria

The Port on the island of Santa Maria

I felt the heaviness of depression begin to set in. I tried to mask my depression with smiles..but it was there.  I had a friend from out-of-town come and visit, so  right away, life in florida included  good friends, dance parties, bon fires, music playing, song writing, bike rides, yoga , theatre, the ocean, and good food..But there was an emptiness. A deep longing for my Azorean life. Reminds me of Brigadoon. 

And then, one day, I took a road trip, across the state to my sister’s house. I stopped at Myakka River State Park, (nature is the best therapy),  and I went for a hike. I found the most beautiful oak tree, and felt compelled to sit under it, and meditate. Instantly, I knew I was healing.  The voice of wisdom came to me, “This is your path. Live in the present moment.  Live with gratitude. Trust, you are being guided.”

Healing at the beautiful and magical Myakka River State Park

Healing at the beautiful and magical Myakka River State Park

With a smile, I opened my eyes, and really looked at the beauty of my surroundings..I could feel it.

Florida is beautiful. The swamps, the ocean, the forests, the islands.  And the weather in wintertime, is amazing!!!

Winter in South Florida

Winter in South Florida

There is a reason I am here. Teaching yoga, sharing Reiki, making music, working on my garden, and being an awesome mom (well, trying to be). ;)

And, I am officiating  a wedding ceremony in February.

 

I am also learning to sail…sailing close up

I guess the reason I felt compelled to write today, is this–We have to remember to live!  Life changes, situations change, we all go through both painful and wonderful experiences. Just Breathe. Wherever you are, You can find your center.

Every time I start to feel that longing for Santa Maria, I remind myself to live with gratitude. And then I ask my friend to take me sailing! HA!

Maybe I will crew on a sailboat to the Azores. ;)

Maybe I will crew on a sailboat to the Azores. ;)

Live. Love.   And always be open to Adventure.. ~Yogini Tiff


Sao Lorenco Bay, Stories of Romance

When i first arrived to this island,   I had a very intense attraction to a Portuguese Fisherman. I saw him in Sao Lorenco bay, and i thought my heart might seriously explode.   He was working in the warm sun. When our eyes first met,  everything stopped.  I had never experienced anything like it. He wasn´t really handsome, and he was dressed horribly, but something about him, was so familiar, our connection was so strong, that i could barely breathe. He felt the same way.

I was walking with my family, and my uncle, who was completely oblivious to our magical moment,  walked right up to the fisherman (who was still staring at me) and started talking to him ..   Portuguese is the most beautiful language.  Anyways, they talked  for a little while, (my heart was pounding) and then we said goodbye.

Lost in thought and strange emotions, we walked slowly to a little cafe in the village, to have a drink… I sat down, and looked out the window towards the ocean. And then i saw him again! The fisherman! He sat right outside the cafe, and boldly stared at me. The entire time!! Slightly flattered and slightly scared, I quickly smiled in his direction before we left.

We drove up into the Mountains to my aunt’s house. As soon as we got home,  I called my friend and told her of my odd encounter with the fisherman. I was walking around outside,  talking, smiling and laughing…..THEN I FROZE.  The Fisherman was standing in front of me. He had followed me home.

Somehow I hung up on my friend…I was in complete shock. The fisherman could see my surprise. He smiled and said “Ola!” and then walked away and up the hill. Feeling a nervous rush of energy, I ran inside to tell everyone. My Aunt  laughed.. “When I was a kid, if a guy liked you, he would follow you home and then walk back and forth in front of your house until you talked to him.”   My head raced.. “WHAT?!?”  That is totally insane… I replied.. “Aunt Bella, we call that Stalking”.  She said, “I know it seems weird, but this is how they do, especially if he is old-fashioned.”

The “Little House” in the Mountains. Santa Barbara, Santa Maria, Azores..

We all had a laugh, and then he walked by again. And again. I sat inside the little house with my family, we drank two bottles of wine, and laughed as we recorded the number of times he walked up and down in front of the house. 17 times. Each time he walked by he looked inside the house and smiled.  It was a “I know I am being an idiot, but I can’t help it!” type of smile.  Day turned to-night, he finally stopped walking by.

I was a little sad, I thought my fisherman had left…BUT NO!!!! He started driving up and down the hill. In his grey work truck…Flattered, shocked, and a little scared..I had never experienced anything like this. I went to bed with a smile. I woke up with a smile.

There is much more to the story, it continues (and possibly becomes weirder), but not with the ending one might expect…..Oh, the drama and the romance of the Portuguese!  Days have turned into weeks, and weeks into months.. and still the strange connection remains…. It will always remain…

In many ways, he and I exist in different worlds. When we see each other now, we don´t speak. We don´t need to. We smile and remember.

Sometimes we have intense connections with people and we have no idea why. Sometimes connections are from a past life. Sometimes strong connections arrive in our lives to make us laugh and feel alive.

 Have a LOVEly day… ~The  gypsy


This is a short post dedicated to following your dreams and dedicated to my cousin, who I love more than words can ever say…..

After a long, heartbreaking, and confusing period of my life, I had a dream, and in the dream, My Portuguese grandmother (who died several years ago), came to me and told me very clearly, that i needed to go to the Azores… more specifically to the Island of Santa Maria, the island my mother grew up on.

Santa Maria.. view from Terra Velha..

I called my mom and told her about the dream.  I told her I had to figure out a way to come to the Azores. Everyone thought I was a bit crazy and no one (myself included) seemed to think I could pull it off…But, as if by magic, everything fell into place. The money for the plane tickets magically appeared, a friend offered to watch my dog and rent out my house. It all just fell into place. No effort! Seriously, the universe wanted me to take this trip…. but I had no idea why. I got on the plane with no real expectations…

I arrived to the island and felt like I entered a different world. So many amazing places. So many relatives. So many stories. So many feelings of Deja vu…whoa.

The Haunted Woods.On the trail near Barreiro da Faneca

And then one day, I met my cousin. A cousin I didn’t even know I had.  The first time we hung out, we laughed, danced, and cried (we drank a lot too. I don’t think I had ever been so drunk)… it was like long-lost sisters finally reunited!

Cousins, Enjoying the Magic of love and Sao Lorenco Bay….

Hiking in Valverde…

Now we spend almost all of our time together..Yoga, Reiki, meditation, dance parties, swimming, hiking, cooking, crying, drinking, and lots of laughing…I think we might be the talk of the island right now. Hahaha. We are both learning, healing,  and growing so much. We see the magic in our connection. And the timing really is a miracle!  (When a door closes, somewhere a window opens.)

And our kids love each other too!!!

My grandmother was the sister of my cousin’s grandfather

I know why I am here.  It was destiny that brought me here. Destiny and a strong connection to this place through blood, love,  and magic.

I am hoping to extend our stay. I love it here. We will see what will be.

And Grandma Rosa,  thanks for the message. :)

Lots of love~Tiff


About a month before an ex-boyfriend dumped me, he came over, and with a sweetness in his eyes, he said “I want to teach you and Marlin, how to play the ukulele.”  He pulled out a stack of papers, he had drawn out several chords, and one by one he showed us how to play each chord. 

Swamptown

I am a dancer. Not a musician. It was really hard…My fingers didn’t want to bend like that. I could barely keep my fingers on the strings. But when I got the right sound…ooo that made me happy.

Okay, Back to the ex-lover.  So he went away traveling, as Anarchist boys often do, and ended our relationship (or whatever it was). Don’t worry, It was a long time ago. I am not sad about it anymore. But, I was sad. And playing the ukulele helped me embrace and work through the sadness. I listened to old Country Western songs. Patsy Cline, Willie Nelson, Blaze Foley…. Sad songs about broken hearts, and I learned how to play all of them.  Okay, not all of them, but, a lot. My broken heart, helped me grow.. Music is a great healer. 

Swamptown, Sister Rivalry

  The heartbreak has long since healed, and now, I play the Ukulele! Yeah! I have so much fun with it! I have several friends that play, and we hang out and make music. I have even done a few performances both singing and playing my lovely little instrument..  And as part of homeschooling, my son is  learning too. 

Why Don't you Fall in Love With ME

Ukulele means Jumping fleas in Hawaiian. But the Ukulele was actually brought over by Portuguese plantation workers….gotta love the Portuguese!  Hawaiians saw the Portuguese playing the small guitar like instrument, with fingers moving so fast, they named it Ukulele. Ahhh.. I miss Hawaii.

One of the best parts about learning to play my Ukulele, was bonding with my Grandpa. Both my Portuguese and my American Grandpa, were really good musicians. Amazing guitar players with amazing voices.  My American Grandpa is still living, but, he is old school and grumpy… and he really doesn’t like “Damn Liberal Hippies.”  Anyways, when I went to visit my Dad last summer, I saw my ol’ Grandpa for the first time in many years.  The first thing he said when he saw me… “Blue fingernails? What the hell do you have blue fingernails for?!”  I smiled and said “Grandpa, I am also covered in tattoos and I don’t shave.  But give me a hug.”  I told him I was learning to play the ukulele. With a gruff voice, He said “Oh, yeah, show me a G 7th.” So I did.  He continued testing me- calling out several different chords. I played them.  And I could see a sparkle in his eyes.  He was pleased. My Dad was there too and shocked. My Grumpy ol’ Grandpa totally fell in love with his ‘weird’ granddaughter (The feeling was mutual).  My Grandpa and I had a few jam sessions, I played the ukulele and he played the guitar. He taught me several songs from the 1930′s and 40′s.  We really enjoyed being together.  And before my vacation ended, my Grandpa came over, and surprised me with a gift, he bought me a new (and much nicer) ukulele. Talk about love. :)

Music with My Grandpa Archie

If you don’t play an instrument, it’s not too late!  You should start. Hopefully, minus the broken heart.

Everything happens for a reason.~t

Making music



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