Category Archives: mental illness and mental health

Being the Mother of a Magical Child

February 4, 2013

As a single mom, everything is my responsibility. There have been times when I have felt so worn down and crippled by exhaustion, that the tears start falling and keep falling for hours. I know I have narrowly avoided several potential nervous breakdowns. (Yoga and meditation help, and so do big hugs, and dance parties.) But the truth is, being a single mom is hard. And any single mom deserves respect and needs support.

Anyways, I could write, and write, and write about all the hardships I have dealt with as a single mom. My son’s dad, has not helped at all. There is no anger about this. Just sadness.. And acceptance. In the past 5 years, I have received a grand total of 58 dollars in child support. There have been some real struggles. There have been some deep wounds. But this is life. Life presents all of us with both challenges and blessings..

And in terms of blessings, without a doubt, my son has been the biggest blessing in my life.

For the last 13 years, my life has been a constant adventure with my kid. I was pretty young when I had him, so in many ways, we have grown up together (and we continue to grow). Luckily, my son has the adventurous adaptable gypsy spirit (just like me). So, we have had a lot of fun. We have lived all over the place. And experienced so much. I am amazed at all we have done together.

Camping with my kid

My son really is magical. And I am not just saying this because I am his mom. If you know my son, you know what I say is true. He is mature, loving, thoughtful, intelligent, and handsome. Even when he was very young, you could see and feel wisdom radiating from his big brown eyes. Often, I think he teaches me more than I teach him. And in terms of maturity, without a doubt, he is far more mature than I am. My Buddhist teacher told me “Marlin is not a normal child, he is a very special being.” I know what my teacher says is true. My kid has special gifts (aka-magic).

Marlin in the Azores..

It is certainly his heart and warm caring behavior that are most important to me, but he is also one of the most talented artists I have ever known. He is a self-taught visual artist, and although born left-handed (like his dad), he has developed the ability to draw equally well with both his left and right hands.

Marlin’s art.. watercolors

Panda (Watercolors)

Tiger (colored pencils)

He is also a talented performer.And an amazing singer. Marlin caught the ‘acting bug’ at a young age and has already been in 15 plays. In fact, right now he is rehearsing for a solo he will sing on Saturday Feb 9th, for a fancy Gala honoring the famous Burt Reynolds.I am so proud of him.

Marlin as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of OZ at the Lake Worth Playhouse

Marlin singing a Solo, as 'Star to Be' in Annie, at the Lake Worth Playhouse

Marlin singing, in Annie, at the Lake Worth Playhouse

Like I said, our life has been an adventure. Sometimes good, sometimes difficult..Never normal, but always with love.

Cheers to the amazing Marlin. And a big warm “Thank you” to everyone who has helped along our journey. I am truly grateful.

Cheers to Adventures with a magical kid…

Have a great day.. ~Yogini Tiff

Posted by Yogini Tiff in Heartbreak, love, Magick, mental health, Mother Earth, Music, Photos, Restorative yoga, Stories, Uncategorized, yoga

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Oatstraw Tea, Infusions, and Tinctures

April 10, 2012

A good friend of mine, recently gave me a the best gift. A 10 pound bag of Oatstraw. I love oatstraw. I need oatstraw. We all need oatstraw.

Whoa, that's alot of Oatstraw!

Oatstraw is considered an herbal tonic, for it helps bring the nervous system to balance. Especially after adrenal fatigue. Oatstraw helps ease anxiety as well as depression. It is known to help lower cholesterol, and help with skin conditions. Oatstraw contains B vitamins, calcium, magnesium, iron and more. Oatstraw is also a mild aphrodisiac, so have fun.

So, what’s a girl to do with 10 pounds of oatstraw???? Plenty! Rolling in the green!

I have been making oatstraw tea, infusions, and tinctures.

Making tea, is pretty basic. Add a few teaspoons of loose tea, steep for ten minutes and enjoy. Ahhh. Lovely. Relaxing. Healing.

An herbal infusion, is different from tea, because you use a much larger quantity of the herb, and you allow the herb to steep for 4 to 8 hours. Overnight is an easy way to do it too. An infusion is super potent. I recommend about an ounce of the dried herb, a good-sized jar (with a lid), add boiling water, cover. Wait. Drink. Restore. Major healing. Ahhh.

Dandelion Infusion, Oatsraw infusion, and a nettle infusion (I drank it all-tastes like spinich broth) mmmmm.

You will notice that tea and infusions, taste and feel quite different.

Over the weekend, I made a very large amount of oatstraw tincture. Tinctures require alcohol, glycerin, or vinegar, to extract the healing properties of the herb. Alcohol is the most potent, and lasts the longest. So, I used a large amount of grain alcohol. And in about 6 weeks, I will have plenty of oatstraw tincture to share. Talk about concentrated medicine, for that is exactly what a tincture is.

If you are new to herbal medicine, I suggest doing a little bit of research, and start taking a ‘herbal tonic’ that suits your specific needs. Like oatstraw or nettles (there are many herbs to choose from). Start with tea. Move to infusions. When you are ready to try tinctures (they don’t taste delicious), I recommend first buying a few. Experiment. Nearly every health food store sells tinctures. Give yourself at least a month, and I am sure you will feel healthier, stronger, balanced.

Cheers! To the Kitchen Witch in all of us!

Some girls love diamonds…. some girls love oatstraw. Ha!

Have a great day! ~T

Posted by Yogini Tiff in Diet, Health, Herbs, Magick, mental health, Mother Earth, Uncategorized

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YOGA: Let Go of the Ego…Heal, Flow, Grow

March 24, 2012

Let go. Grow and flow. Learn to listen to your body, listen to your breath. Honor your body, honor the breath.

Open Your Heart (I'll Make You Love Me)

When I first started practicing yoga, 14 years ago, I was 21. My yoga teacher indroduced many new ideas and experiences. Sometimes, I thought she was a new age wingnut (like when she first taught us Lion’s Breath), other times, I saw her wisdom and strength. She is a powerful healer. When I first came to her class, I was very much operating with my ego. I disregarded her almost constant reminder ”focus on your breath“. At that point, I didn’t even breath through my nose, so the idea of taking conscious breaths through my nose, seemed impossible. And really kind of stupid. I knew what I wanted– I wanted to do the splits! Seriously. I wanted to stretch far!!!!! I treated yoga much like a dance class, where ego is often very involved. I remember once my yoga teacher told me I was flexible..My ego instantly was swollen with pride, and with a smile, I pushed myself a little deeper–ooo I felt so good. I thought I was good at yoga. Turn’s out, I was good at stretching.

Focus on the Breath.... Bring the Mind To Stillness

Yoga begins, when we connect body, mind and spirit. Present with our breath, the breath helps us energize and heal.The ‘mind chatter” ceases, and we are connected and in it! Present with the poses (asanas), we feel the lines and currents of energy. It is magical. It is sacred.

If you practice yoga, you know exactly what I am talking about. You are in a pose, connected in every way, and it is bliss.

Partner Yoga: Breath, Body, Energy Connection...me and my friend Brenna

Over the years, As my practice has evolved, I have learned the importance of breath (pranayama) on the physical, mental, and spiritual bodies..

With Asana practice, I like to practice with my eyes closed. It is soothing and powerful.I have learned to really feel my body. If my body is fatigued from too many chaturungas, I won’t do them. If I need to spend half of class in child’s pose, or savasana, I honor that. If I am holding an asana, and my body craves a little movement, pulsing, swaying, or grooving, I honor that too. Sometimes we need to strengthen, sometimes we need to stretch, sometimes we need to restore.

Dancing with The Trees.... Dancer Pose

The moment you are really struggling in a pose, you are no longer practicing yoga. So, focus on the breath, take time to let the pose evolve. Slowly and naturally, the body moves deeper. Deeper into the pose, deeper into the breath.

There are moments where we are so connected and hyper-sensitive, that the Kundalini begins to rise, and we connect to truth, wisdom, and blissful awareness. Our energetic bodies shine bright.

There are other times in our practice where we are overcome with emotion, and crying in class, having an emotional release, and unsure why. Crying is good. Release and move energy.

Let go and trust the process. It is Life Changing.

I have been teaching yoga for about 4 years now, several classes a week. I love seeing my students evolve…. We are evolving together. We are always evolving. Slowly we learn to let go of the ego, we start to heal, grow and flow.

Warrior Three-Three warriors..... Yoga with friends

Don’t be rigid with your practice. Let go of any expectations….. Let your practice evolve. Be open, flexible, connected.

Breathe. Listen and feel. Connect. It will change your practice and your life.

Bring the Mind To Stillness

Namaste

~Tiff

Posted by Yogini Tiff in Energy Healing, Flow Yoga, Health, mental health, Mother Earth, Restorative yoga, Uncategorized, yoga

My Aura Gets Dirty Too

February 28, 2012

All of us, experience the ups and downs of life, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Food, thoughts, experiences, sight and sounds, all get translated and processed into our bodies. Sometimes we feel depressed, dull, or lifeless (tamas). Other times we are excited, irritable, manic, obsessive, destructive (rajas). And other times, we are peaceful, calm, content, and loving (sattvas). These are different states of being. They affect all of us at varying degrees. In yogic philosophy and ayurveda, the different states of being are called Gunas. The three different states of being, or Gunas, are Tamas (darkness), Rajas(activity), Sattvas (beingness).

Sometimes I feel like this.... Beautiful, Compassionate, Magical, Divine

Everything is always changing. Emotions are like waves. Sometimes the waves are angry rough and stormy. Sometimes the waves are little, playful and fun. And sometimes the waves are magical, and healing. But again, always changing.

Sometimes I feel like this

Being a yogi helps us remember that nothing is permanent. We have the power to calm the mind, let the waves settle, connect to our higher selves and feel peace. Being a yogi doesn’t mean we are free from external drama and pain. We just learn ways to cope.

Sometimes I suffer from anxiety. I tend to worry. Alot. Sometimes the worry takes control and I panic. Through yoga and other healing practices, I have learned to deal with my anxiety. I close my eyes and and take deep rhythmic breaths through the nose. Try taking a deep inhale for 7 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds, and then exhale for 7 seconds. Do it three times. It works wonders. Breath has a direct impact on the nervous system. Breath has a direct impact on everything. The panic begins to fade.

Depression? Yeah, I get that too. (Who doesn’t?) But again, through yoga, we connect to a spiritual wisdom that begins to transform us. There are several books that help me grow and learn and heal. Inspired Thoughts, by Swami Rama, is one of them. Amazing from beginning to end.

Being a yogi, you still have the waves, but you learn how to tame the waves and you learn how to surf.

Hang Loose. Shaka Brah. ~T

**The photos were taken by my awesome son.**

Posted by Yogini Tiff in Energy Healing, Health, mental health, Restorative yoga, yoga

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Phil Ochs, The Tears Were Falling

February 22, 2012

I woke up, expecting to have a not so exciting day. I had to work. I did my morning meditation,hung out with my son, our dog and our chicken (who magically showed up two years ago ), and then got ready for work.

In addition to teaching yoga,I teach musical theatre at the Boys and Girls Club,I homeschool (since the broken arm), I write this fabulous blog (ha!) , I play ukulele, create healthy food, perform, garden, and many other things. Typical Gemini! Being a single mom, and all the tasks required, can really take it’s toll. I am exhausted alot. Anyways, I have another job too (of course I do). I work at the Lake Worth Playhouse in the box office. The Playhouse has been an amazing blessing in both my life and my son’s…. as it is for many. The Playhouse, is family. But I’ll write more about that later.

Anyways, I sometimes work on the weekend, if we have a show. We had a show this weekend. The Songs of Phil Ochs, a tribute concert.

The songs of Phil Ochs

I had heard of Phil Ochs, of course. My friend Emilie loves the song, “Love me I’m A Liberal”… so much she has sung the whole song for me on at least two different occasions. She says “This song is so badass.” And It is. So, I knew of Phil Ochs. I knew he was a folk singer. I knew he was a political activist. I didn’t know he suffered from manic depression. And I didn’t know he had commited suicide.

Anyways, back to the show-I was helping people to their seats when the first song began. I noticed Phil’s sister, Sonny Ochs, sitting on stage, and i was suddenly overcome with intense emotion. It is both a blessing and a curse to be an empath. I started crying. A confusing kind of crying… I wondered “Why am I crying? Am I sad or happy? Where is this coming from?” I had no idea at the time…But I think it was the combination of both beauty and pain that radiates through his music and his memory.

If you have ever loved anyone who suffers from manic depression (Bipolar), it can be heartbreaking. I have known lovers and dear friends who are tormented by the disease. When you love someone with any sort of severe mental illness, you are on the ride and you have no idea where it will go. It is very painful and confusing. Scary and totally consuming. You are helpless. Deeply scarred.

Seeing Sonny Ochs on stage singing along to her brothers songs, really struck a chord with me. I was overcome with emotion, and I wasn’t getting my period! Phil Ochs created brilliant, funny, and heartbreaking songs. Songs written by someone who cared deeply. Songs that are being kept alive through love. Through pain and tragedy, our life often leads us down paths we never intended, but beautiful paths nonetheless.

The show was special. It was part concert, part history lesson. His songs are deep. His songs are still relevant today. Changes, is one of my favorite songs. I am learning to play it on the ukulele.

There was a reception between performances. I felt compelled to talk to Sonny. I had intended to merely thank her and leave, but I just kept talking. Gemini! We spoke of Phil’s music, then she asked about my son’s broken arm. We talked about mental illness. We talked about the awesome creativity, the deep dark depression, and the psychosis, that comes with severe mental illness. We spoke about how it had affected our loved ones. I cried again. Damn emotions.

Me, my son, Sonny Ochs, and Joyce Brown

There is a documentary called Phil Ochs-There But For Fortune, available online on PBS. Amazing. It is a brilliant documentary and history lesson. The footage is incredible.

Here is the link. Watch it. You will be glad you did.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/americanmasters/episodes/phil-ochs-there-but-for-fortune/watch-the-full-documentary/1962/

Thanks for the music Phil. And thanks to Sonny for keeping his music alive and sharing some time with me. And of course thanks to everyone for making the event come to life!

Posted by Yogini Tiff in mental illness and mental health, Stories

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Category Archives: mental illness and mental health

Being the Mother of a Magical Child

Oatstraw Tea, Infusions, and Tinctures

YOGA: Let Go of the Ego…Heal, Flow, Grow

My Aura Gets Dirty Too

Phil Ochs, The Tears Were Falling

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My Aura Gets Dirty Too

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Phil Ochs, The Tears Were Falling

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Donate to Yogini Tiff!! If I can start making a little bit of money writing, I can commit to writing more posts!! And it will help me have the time, money and confidence to really sit down write my book! If you can, please donate to my site, any donations are helpful. Thank you. ;)

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